


Full House

by Duel_lady



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-16 20:36:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4639332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duel_lady/pseuds/Duel_lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That night. They shared everything, and then he just walked out her door. We have all played the game, and know how it can end. This is My take on Just how much does happen  when he walks out that door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nothing about this place had changed. Eight months later it as still the disgusting tavern it had always been. He takes another swig of ale. Hanged Man, alive in all its putrid and morbidly pathetic glory.  
“Nother pint, handsome?" Nora spoke to him. He thinks that is her name. He nods as she fills the mug from a pitcher then makes her way around the room weaving in and out of tables.  
“My, look what the cat dragged in Rivani?" That all but to familiar voice chimed from across the room, damn. He'd been spotted but he tries to sink into the darkness of that corner anyways.  
“My, my and he is drinking alone," clicking her tongue with a few tisks. “For shame Fenris, we though we were your friends. I think I’m wounded, are you wounded Varric?" She says drawling her hand to her bust falsely clutching her heart.  
“Oh, most defiantly.' he says feigning pain, clutching his heart.” So, Elf, Where in the fade have you been?" He pulls out a seat not even waiting for an invitation. Sitting down. Oddly Isabella isn’t trying to straddle his legs to sit on his lap. He finds this somewhat amusing as she drops down in chair beside Varric.  
“Nowhere that concerns you, Dwarf." His brows furrow mostly because he hasn’t really been anywhere. Just places that where not In Kirkwall and where far away from Hawke. He had to; he couldn’t think straight being in his mansion knowing she was just across the way from him. It was to close. He didn’t deserve her friendship after what he had done to her months ago.  
“Aww that is what Merril is talking about. I daresay they ARE in fact puppy eyes, Fenris." Isabella's susurration on his name makes his eye twitch. He feels his cheeks warm at the thoughts of Hawke and Isabella notices the pink blush tint his cheeks “Aw and look Varric He’s blushing. Are you seeing this, within a matter of seconds he has shown 5 emotions? I didn’t think he had more than 3 in him, Bravo."  
“Really Elf, One would almost conclude that you are not the brooder you want us to think you are." Varric looking up at Fenris raising a quizzical brow.  
“On the other hand, I must ask. Have you been to see Hawke? “He queries to him nonchalantly.  
“Not that it is any of your business, but no. I have not." He tries to keep his stern look but the concern is written in his eyes. “Why, has something happened to her?" His heart wrenches painfully in his chest. The though harm had come to her pained him in a way he never could explain.  
“No, Hawke is as fine as she ever has been, minus a huge chunk of her heart that chipped off when you walked out on her. Other than that, No she is as whole and well as she can be." He answers but looking at the elf with an odd look he could not exactly figure what was.  
“Well there is a whole lot...." And before Isabella finishes she gets a jab in the side from Varric and even winces on to her own slip.  
“Now Rivani, Let’s not spoil it for her. You know how she hates that. “He chides the Pirate.  
“What? A Whole lot what Isabella? Is she OK? Tell me!" His voice wavering on panic, and rage.  
“Cool it Broody, if YOU want to know you will have to go see her, it is not our place to tell you anything." Varric shots Fenris a wary look. Then waves at Nora “Another round over here. Broody has some explaining to do."  
"I have nothing I need to explain to either of the two of you. I should be going," he watches the door wanting to go to her, There is some secret that Varric and Isabella are not telling and he must know. Has she been hurt? Maybe she lost a limb. Or maybe she is fine , as Varric says and he is over reacting but still, the thought of harm reaching her makes him shudder and a new fear reaches his heart. Maybe there is someone else in her life now. Maybe she has moved on. No that is impossible... right? He hasn’t been gone that long.... has he?  
Anders bursts into the Hanged Man panic set in his face. Panting and out of breath.  
"Varric... Isabella ... Hawke... They are coming...Hurry...” He leans forward resting his hands on his knees leaning over panting to catch his breath, after a few moments he straightens up letting in a soothing breath only to have his eyes fall on the one thing he hated as much as Templars. His eyes narrow as his lips turn up in a snarl, energy renewed with a justifiable vigor. “What Is HE Doing HERE? Wait Never mind I do not care to know. Bella , Varric, its TIME, come quickly. And you." He points a finger at the elf. HIs brow furrows in deep contemplation . “If you know what is good for you will think long and hard before you walk threw her door. Things have changed, and She Doesn’t need you or the luggage your life is contained in, in it now."  
Ferris’s heart drops. What is happening? He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t even hear the mages rant until the finger is in his face. He growls as he looks into the abominations eyes." That is her choice. Not yours!"  
Anders throws his hands in the air. Looking hurriedly at Bella and Varric. “Come on Let the Elf drown himself in his drink. Hawke needs her real friends now. Friends that do not run out on her when she needs them the most!" He doesn’t even care what the elf says as he turns his back to leave getting to the door he pauses looking back at the elf. Certain sadness in his eyes that Fenris cannot place. “If you care at all about her Fenris, You will think long and hard before you walk back threw her door. Things will not be the same for either one of you after that moment."  
“Alright Blondie, we are on our way. Bella You better go with him, that’s all you Madame" Varric reaches for a small book from inside his duster making a note with a deft hand, Then places it back in its properly hidden pocket. One of many hidden panels amongst Varrics wardrobe.  
“Alrighty," She turns to the elf and grins at him “It’s alright Sweet pea, she is fine. But you really do need to go see her, Anders is right things are about to change drastically, whether that is good news to you is entirely up to you." She leans over and kisses him sweetly on the cheek pulling back with a wink. Then Dashes off with the mage.  
“What Is Happening Varric? Who has come? Is she in danger? Maker sake he can take no more riddles." His temper starting to bubble, as his mind reals in contemplation. Varric can see the Panic and desperation in his eyes, and the ghost of fear. Varric knows that feeling all too well." What does Anders mean? Why will things change? Just tell me what is going on!" He stems his temper enough that he hasn’t gripped the dwarf by his scruff and lifted him off the floor but is arriving dangerously close to it.  
“You’ll just have to go and See Broody, here drink this down. I have a feeling you will need another soon enough." He is chuckling. Fenris is about to fly into a rage and Varric is laughing. Has he gone mad?  
“Do you want to go see her now then? Because I’m going with or without you." Varric asks rising resettling Bianca in her holster.  
He doesn’t say a word, he can’t, and he has no voice right now. So he nods reaching for the offered mug. He swigs the ale as fast as he can and a shiver rocks threw him. Varric makes a gesture to Nora and she brings a small glass of amber looking liquid Fenris eyes is warily then looks to Varric.  
“Trust me Broody, you’re going to need that, and Nora something for the road?" He presses a few coins and the lady gasps and dashes off. Fenris picks up the shot of whiskey looking at it like it may have an answer, alcohol always had something of an answer but hasn’t of late, he shoots the shot to the back of his throat letting the liquid burn its way down to his gut. He suppresses a shiver as the warming sensation roils threw his body. He sees Nora bring back two bottles of the drink handing them to Varric who places them in his shoulder pack swinging it over his shoulder.  
“Shall we Ser Elf?" Fenris only nods and they head to the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He goes to his Hawke. People are talking around hima nd he does not like it. Not One Bit. What does he find behind Hawkes door? 
> 
> Dun dun dun!!!

Chapter 2 

Standing in the entry hall Fenris has no idea what is happening, everyone is calm. Bodan permits them to enter and as they walk into the great room. Merril is pacing from the kitchen with pots of hot water and has linens draped across her arm. She doesn’t even see Fenris, who is standing there mute. Isabella is not anywhere to be seen. And that Mage Abomination that is Anders is nowhere in sights either Varric sits calmly on a chair and starts polishing Bianca. From upstairs he hears a blood curdling scream followed by panting. His feet frozen in place. Still unable to fit all these broken pieces together. His heart is pounding loudly in his chest, all his internal instincts are telling him to rush to the scream, she was in pain, something or someone was hurting her, but in the calm of the home he notices no one goes to help her. He can’t figure it out. He rakes his gauntleted hand threw his white hair letting out a frustrated sigh. There, the scream again, and His eyes lock onto her bedroom door. Her private room, the last time he was in there he left her sobbing and naked in her bed. That was months ago..... Eight or nine months ago.  
“Fenris, what happens to a woman that typically takes around nine months?" Varric asks absently inspecting Bianca   
His mouth loses all its moisture as his mind reals at what is really going on. His legs feel boneless and at any moment they will not be able to bare his weight anymore. Another cry pierces the silence and his head snaps up. Helplessly looking at her door he hears Anders saying something.  
“That’s it Hawke, your doing so good sweetheart. Almost there now. Yes that is it... breath ... That’s the way, Bella. Ok now ... Push Hawke!  
“MAKER IT FLAMEING HURTS!!" her voice cutting through the air with agony and pain. Varric chuckles never having herd Hawke utter a curse in the history of their companionship.  
" I Know sweetheart, maker it hurts, but labor isn’t supposed to feel good but your doing so good, take a breath ... easy.... there you go .. Now once more.... that’s my girl... hold her up Bella.... breath Hawke."  
A soft muffled cry, he barely hears it. His eyes locked onto the door. The sound of broken muffled sobs echo from behind it.  
“Ok Honey, easy does it... that’s the head... ok once more for the shoulders sweetheart......"   
“This flaming hurts; I should have drunk that tea! .... Ooh Mmaker... I need to push... I can feel it...”   
“That’s it ... that a girl... push honey....there she is! It’s a girl," Anders announces proudly, his voice filling with his own emotions.  
“Damn it that’s a sovern to the dwarf." He hears Isabella exclaim. “Aww would ya just look at her... she’s sooo cute, just look at those little pointed ears!! Oh my, she's just too sweet for words." Fenris can hear the genuine emotion in the pirates’ voice and his bottom lips starts to tremble.   
“I Know. I know." Hawks voice is soft and low. You can hear the exhaustion in her voice. “She is so beautiful. I wish he could be here Bella. She looks just like..." Her voice breaks into a sob.  
As he watches the door, eyes wide and mouth agap, the sound of her sobs breaks his heart. His … Daughter had just been born. His fingertips start to itch wanting to reach for the door handle. His feet shuffle nervously wanting to go to her side. Wanting to see his daughter. But something in his has him petrified in place.  
“Congratulations Broody, you’re a Papa." Varrics voice barely there echoing as his mind spins, taking it all in.   
They had made passionate love with not a care in a world. His sleep had brought memories too painful to remember. His memory shimmers in rememberance of that night. Flashes of images as he walks away from her leaving her behind with raised hands and tears pleading him to stay. Then he ran as far as he could, try hard to not look back. Taking jobs and stealing coin when he needed too. Longing to return to her side. She deserved normal; she deserved someone who would return her affections as fiercely as she showed them. Not saying he couldn’t return them but that was just it, that is all he has to offer her and he feels it’s not enough. It will never be enough to make up for all that she had given to him and shown him. A sound pulls him back to reality. The door opens revealing Merril, who comes out carrying a bundle. Cooing to it. She gets to the bottom of the stairs looking up with a start.   
" F-f-fenris, wwwhat are you doing here?" She gives a start then looks over to Varric clutching the baby tightly to her chest. A protective gesture he notices. She fears he will harm his own..... He blinks at her.  
“It’s alright Daisy, I told him he should come. What do you have there?" He says rising making his way to her, her meeting him halfway walking past Fenris as he gets the briefest glimpse of a tiny pointed ear and short tufts of snowy white hair. He looks at the bundle longingly. He feels like this is a dream, he is about to wake up any moment. Hawke did not just give birth to his elven child, she did not, this is impossible. He blinks again.  
“The sweetest little baby I ever seen." A tiny hand pops out of the blanket and Merrill kisses it softly “She is so beautiful. My lethelaan is so proud of her." Her eyes never leaving the baby. Soft cooing sounds from her and the baby. She just coos at the wriggling infant in her arms. All he can do is staring.  
“Ash so a girl Rivanni owes me a sovern." He chuckles pulling back the blanket to get a better look at the baby. He whistles softly. “No denying this one Elf, she is all you." He says looking up at the stoic man  
“You know that this isn’t over you could still lose ya know." Merril says down to the dwarf.  
“Doc said there are 2 girls and a boy. I bet the girls came first. So far I am one third correct." He announces proudly.  
Fenris gasps and looks at Varric.... did he just say....his head gets dizzy... three babies... this cannot be!!!  
"Fenris, would you like to see her?" Merril offers quickly. Then her head drops to the baby and back to him. She takes a tentative step towards him then pauses.  
He nods, but still can’t seem to take all this in. Merril approaches him and moves the blanket back little ears coming to points, eyes a bit larger and more round then humans. Soft snowy white hair covering a tiny head, little lips pursed together in a little pout. His hands are up before he realizes and Merrill gasps  
“I hope that spikey armor comes off least you scratch your baby with all those pointy things about it Fenris. “Her voice almost chuckling   
“Oh... My apologies... just a moment please." He works the buckles loose on his gauntlets, hands trembling. Then he thinks a moment about what Merril had said about how pointy his armor is and removes the rest of the plate. He feels odd without the armor, but knows it is necessary. Merril nods and places the little bundle in his arms. His hands trembeling looking down at that tiny face.   
His resolve shatters, Varric was correct, he could not deny that this was his child if he wanted to. He feels heat welling up behind his eyes as he looks down at the sleeping child. She is so tiny that she could almost fit into one of his hands. Her eyes flutter open for the briefest of moments and he sees his green eyes looking back at him, he breath catches and the heat forms moisture and it falls from his eyes. The baby’s eyes gaze at him a few moments then little lips stretch into a yawn and smack together as her eyes drift closed again. But he takes in a shaky breath and carefully wipes his eyes. Clearing his throat looking to Varric.   
“How could Hawke not tell me about this? I do not understand it." Not sure what to say right now. His mind is realigning with memories of Hawke.  
“No one knew where you went Broody that is hardly her fault. My contacts only tracked you so far then you disappeared into the mountains" Varrics voice had a hint of disapproval in it." It’s like you just vanished into thin air."  
More cries come from upstairs and Merril looks back at Fenris, then to Varric who nods then she was off. Leavening them to talk. But Ferris’s keen hearing picks up every word uttered in the upstairs room. His heart breaks at the next thing she says. He drifts up the stairs before he even knew what he was doing. Wanting to be closer to her, needing to be next to her. But he finds a chair setting next to the large wooden door and he settles in, ready to listen to whatever she had to say. He needed to hear her voice no matter how harsh it may be.  
“I Hate Him Bella I hate him. How could he do this to me!!?” Her voice is tired and strained he notices. He and Varric are now sitting in chairs just outside her bedroom door. Listening quietly. For once Varric gives him peace so he can hear.  
“I know pumpkin, I know. That mean elf gets his jollies off then leaves you with a plump belly full of cubs, just down right barbaric." Fenris eyes narrow at the description. That was most certainly NOT what had happened...... had it? Oh Maker... It was.  
“Don’t say that, I love him. Maker help me I love him; I’m just going to kill him first. Maker it hurts!" The last is said through clenched teeth as a contraction overtakes her body. He hears someone counting lowly and Hawke lets out a relieved shaky breath. “They are getting closer and longer.” She pants.  
“Now a moment ago you hated him, which is it dearest?" She laughs at her trying to lighten her mood.   
“Stop confusing me!" She cries." I.... I....I don’t know, Hess Gone and it doesn’t matter anyways. He is gone and he isn’t coming back. He doesn’t have anything here, why would he come back?" It takes all he has not to burst threw her door right now and show her that he is there but he doesn’t. He sits there quietly rocking the baby cursing himself again.  
Isabella blots Hawks forehead, a sly smile on her lips. She knows Fenris is at the door, she herd his subtle footsteps coming up the stairs. “Oh I think he would, if he knew he was a father. He is not the kind of man to willingly walk away from responsibility. Perhaps he is back in town already." She says smiling down at her laboring friend.  
“I don’t think so Bells. If he was here in town, I’d have heard about it by now. He doesn’t want to be with me, I have to accept that now. These babies will never know him, and how wonderful he really is. I don’t think he even knows it himself." She says sadly resting against the pirate woman.  
“Alright ladies. Hawke I know you’re all emotional right now but you need to focus on what’s going on, you can sort out how you feel about that blighted Elf later. Isabella I need you to sit her up again. The next one is crowning." Anders trying to be the diligent healer but never failing to give his imputes. “It’s just as well, he's like a caged animal, one day he will turn on you. ... But enough I see the head... now pull her up Bells, Ok Hawke... deep breathe... that a girl... you’re doing so good honey"   
“I don’t ... ha....ha ... hate him Anders.” she breaths threw a contraction “I hate that he is gone. I HATE that Bastard that marked his flesh and took his memories, I HATE that bitch he killed in that cave, I HATE how every time he looked at me all he seen was a mage! And I HATE that that is all I will ever be to him! I hate that he could never love me." Each statement was met with a swift intake of breath from behind the door and a low gritting sound. His heart hurts at her last two statements. She was right, he had been cruel to her, and every smile got scowled at every kindness met with a confrontation cause of his stubborn nature. All save that Night, That night they worshiped each other equally. He had never known bliss until his lips met her, he never knew extract until her herd her cries of pleasure calling HIS name as he entered her. And he had never known heartbreak until he had to walk out her door. But for her to say he could never love her... his heart quivers in his chest.  
“Shows what you know." Isabella says coyly dabbing a towel across her sweaty brow.  
“What? ... What do you mean....?” She tries to look over her shoulder to look at her in the eye but a contraction hits her and she groans  
“Ok Hawke ... its time to push...Bella stops distracting her like that. Ok Hawke, take in a deep breath... ok.... now Push sweetheart."   
She grips Isabella’s hands tightly bearing down Crying out almost sobbing.  
“He is downstairs with Varric love." She whispers softly in her ear   
“WHAT?" Hawke Says in-between pants and pushes.   
“Um baby being born now yes?" Isabelle says with a coy tug at her lips.  
“Yes right. Merril where are you, ah good there you are. Ok Hawke last one. Well not last one but for this little one...   
She bears down with every ounce of energy she has. And then a little cry emerges into the air.   
“Ok there is her head, ok once more sweetheart... you’re doing soo good im so proud of you.... Once more for the shoulders... there you go... now push...Aww there she is, just like her sister. “Anders tends to the little one a moment cutting the cord then wraps her up and hands it to Merril to be cleaned.   
Hawke lies against Isabella panting, and then a tear falls down her face.   
“He hates me, doesn’t he Bella?" Her voice is broken full of emotion and he can tell she is crying.   
“No sugar, I don’t think so, he was just scared. Men do that. If he hated you he would not be here, in your home now." He nods to himself; she is right in some small way that is not the entirety of it.  
“He is really here? I wanted to tell him Bella, I did. No one knew where he was. For a moment I though he was taken. Maker if he had been taken...I would have gone to Minrathous and tore it down brick by brick and ripped that blighted ministers skin from his bones." He shakes his head at the image of her trying to rescuing him from the Magisters. If anyone would have tried, it would be her.  
"Would you like me to go get him? I owe Varric 2 governs now. Maybe he should be here for this one, if Anders is right; Fenris should be here for the birth of his son". She says softly.  
She lays there a moment then silently nods. Anders pulls the sheet down over her legs. And runs a hand over her abdomen. Pulsing magic threw her to heal her some. She lets out a relieved breath and relaxes back onto the bed. Fenris sits quietly trying to decide what her answer was; he hadn’t herded her say anything. He hears some moving around, his markings flair briefly as magic is invoked but it doesn’t sting like sanders magic usually does, it must be for her. He knew the mage had deep feelings for her but that fact his magic gentles for her disturbs him... slightly.  
“It will be a few moments until this on comes. Are you sure you want him in here? I can’t say I like it. “Fenris can almost hear the smear in his voice.  
“He has a right to be here Anders. Please, don’t be cruel to him." She begs, She is begging ...In her state. He shakes his head again looking down at his sleeping daughter.   
“Me? He's the one that starts with his nonsense. Are you saying you agree with him? You’re a Mage." Fenris bristles not at the fact that he is defending mages again but at the fact he is arguing with Hawke while she is in labor. How heartless do you have to be! He looks to the door then to varix who is wearing his own scowl of disapproval.  
“Enough Anders Please, for me. Call it pregnancy hormones, call it labor insanity, but be nice. I told you about some of the cruel things that happen to slaves in eventer; can you really stand there and say that freedom is only a dream for Mages? What about slaves? Don’t they deserve to be free too? I’m not having this conversation with you NOW Anders. In case you forgot I’m having his babies, or does my comfort come last to your obsessed need to dominate a room with your manifesto!" She barks at him clearly not in the mood for his rantings. “Merril May I see my Daughter Please!"   
Merril comes to Hawke and places the little bundle in her arms, just like her sister. Hawke opens the blanket to peek at her hands, and smiles. She looks just like her sister she muses exactly like her. Then she frowns remembering Fenris.  
Isabella walks out the door reaching down to take the baby from his arms, and she sits down cooing at her. “Be careful in there, Anders is not happy you are here." She simply states.  
“Is there a reason I need to worry? Has she......moved on? “He swallows fearing the answer.  
“Of course not, don’t be silly. Ever since she found out about these little ones she was determined to seek you out once they were big enough. Anders did try, gave a rightly good effort at any rate, but she wouldn’t have it. She really is only his friend but he tests that every day and I’m afraid he will over stay his welcome before too long.  
“What do you mean?" He queries  
“Oh you don’t know, Anders lived in her wine cellar ... sort of. She gave him a Key so if Templars invaded he had a bolt hole for safety and slowly over the months his stuff kept finding its way into one of her rooms down there. Little bugger moved in right under her nose." He bristles again hackles raised. Then he closes his eyes taking in a calming breath. He can understand her need to protect the mage her heart would not let her to feel otherwise but he has overstepped his bounds while in her condition, how much farther will he go. He takes a calming breath as he opens the door.   
The door opens slightly and the cause of all her heartache and pain stands there, His eyes on her, tinted with sadness and sorrow. His eyes connect with hers briefly then he drops his head in shame, how could he look her in the eyes now. She calls his name softly, He brings his head up slowly and sees Hawke laying there covered from the waist down with a little bundle pressed to her breast. His heart quivers in his chest. She raises a hand becoming him to her with a soft smile and his name a whisper on her lips once more. He freezes momentarily taking in the sight. She is positively glowing, her hair is mussed and sweat slicked to her forehead her face pale from her exertions and he thinks she looks glorious.  
He takes a hesitant step forward eyes darting to Anders as the mage sits there head in his hands having just took a Librium potion. He looks to her and didn’t realize that he had been moving at all. He is standing next to the bed looking down at her then eyes going to the baby at her breast. She looks exactly like her sister he muses to himself. He doesn’t know what to say to break the silence. He starts to speak a few times but words fail him. His hand comes up and he runs a gentle finger along the babies arm   
“What are their names?" he asks quietly.   
“Layleine” she points to the door indicating the one he had been holding, "Laryssa," she says running a fingertip along the baby’s cheek, then she places a hand on her abdomen “Laurence"   
He nods Larysah being the one in her arms now starts to rut around making little noises, Hawke smiles opens her gown and places her breast to the babes mouth. He watches as the babe latches on. He moves closer running a light finger over the baby's ear. There is no denying this child is elvish. The little point brings a smile to his face. After a few moments the baby falls asleep and just in time too, Hawke makes a pained face and Calls to Merril. Merril swoops in taking the baby away.   
“I... Do not know what to do." He looks around nervously." I won’t leave you, not again, not ever." He states more firmly.  
“Just sit behind her, let her rest her back against you, and when she needs to push, let her squeeze your hands, don’t worry if she breaks them I can set them." Anders ever the comedian.   
He nods and moves behind her helping her sit up. Her breathing comes in soft pants, clutching his hands firmly. A contraction hits her and she calls out. His heart breaks a little at the sound of her pained cry. He wants to slam his fist or foot threw something to perhaps feel some form of punishing pain she was feeling just now. He takes the cool wet rag Isabella had been using and dabs it across her forehead.  
“Ok last one Hawke, and he is being stubborn. I need to reposition him... just breath honey... this wont feel very good im afraid...” He places a hand on her abdomen and another hand inside her......   
“Maker what is he Doing!!" Hawke lets out another scream.   
“Alright that should do it. Fenris you need to sit her up a bit more, that’s the way."   
She leans against him, breathing deeply. Her body trembling from her efforts. Then she lets out another cry this one more drawn out then the others. , she collapses against his chest gasping for air  
“I can’t... I can’t ... no more. I can’t do this. It’s too much. “Her voice shaky and pained squeezing her eyes shut.  
“Yes you can." the words are out of his mouth before he can even think about them. “You are Hawke, slayer of dark spawn, Dragons, slavers, a fiendish Arishock and foolish elves that run away like cowards. I refuse to think this will best you."  
She whimpers with another contraction and Anders announces it time for her to push. She takes in a deep breath and bears down, a long, low cry presses threw her gritting teeth. Her hands gripping Fen rises tightly... pressure on the verge of breaking but he doesn’t care. She starts to pant again. Taking careful breaths. Then bears down again. Her cries are more determined this time. He feels her body stiffen as the baby is pushed fully from her. Then she collapses against his chest breathing shallowly. The little cries pierce the room and his chest swells with pride. He has a son. He can’t help it; he places a kiss on her temple. Encircling his arms around her giving her a light embrace. Her voice is a whisper “I love you...., Fen...risk." She goes limp against him he feels her heartbeat starting to fade.   
“Anders, something is wrong! Her Heart... it is ..." He moves from behind her gently laying her down. Her face is so pale. He doesn’t even realize he called the mages name instead of the usual antics. Anders notices right away and realizes it’s because he is scared. Anders finishes tending to her pulling the sheet down to protect her modesty. Anders places his head against her chest to listen a moment, running a hand over her, delving her with magic. His hands sweeping across her chest all his focus on her.  
“Stay with me Hawke. You’re not going die, do you hear me. I will not allow it. “Fenris’ voice cracking. He kneels above her head gently cradling it in his hands.   
The glow gets more intense Anders expression intent and focused. He delves deeper, the effort visibly straining his abilities. Then he sees it, a small tear causing her to bleed internally. He mends the tear. Calling to Merril to give him his satchel. He fumbles threw it a moment then produces a small blue vial.   
“I need you to help me with this just hold her head back and open her mouth.” Fenris doesn’t even question it. Carefully opening her mouth. Anders slowly leaks the fluid down her throat. Fenris rubbing her throat gently working it into her.   
“She has lost a lot of blood; this tonic will help replace the loss. Let us hope it is enough." Anders reaches into his satchel again and takes out a larger vial uncorks it then swigs it down delving her once more. Fenris guesses it is a lyrium potion by its blue hue. Her body mended, but her still making no move to awaken. Anders doesn’t understand it. He lowers his hands to her forehead moving a strand of sweaty hair from her forehead.  
“It is out of my hands Fenris. I can do no more for her." His voice breaks as tears fall from his face. Looking at Fenris he doesn’t even care. “I shall return in a moment. I have some formula for the babies in my clinic. You will have to feed them, and take care of them. I.... I am sorry Fenris. She should wake soon, sometimes mothers do this, and their bodies shut down to heal. I won’t say its common, but I won’t say its rare either. She lost a lot of blood; let’s hope that potion works fast, for her sake."   
Anders turns from him then he rushes off. A little cry tugs Ferris’s vision to Merril who is trying her best to sooth the child as she cleans him in a basin... He looks down at Hawke. So peaceful like she is sleeping. He goes to Merril and gathers his son into his arms. He has more human features, more so then the girls. His eyes are not as rounded, and his ears only have a slight point on the very tips of them. His nose has the slight upturn that Hawkes family is known for, and his soft hair was a deep rich brown color. Just like Hawke. Tiny lips stretch into a yawn as little eyes blink up at him. His little wrinkle faces in a somber expression.  
“Hello little one.....I am your father." He says softly. He looks over at Hawke, lying there so peacefully, unmoving. His heart slowly breaking, Is he to do this alone? He looks down at the baby again, who had drifted to sleep and fear wraps around his heart. She is only sleeping, that is it. Labor wearing her out. Anders said so... didnt he? They had got the tonic to go down, now she just needed to rest was all. She will awaken soon. He will beg forgiveness and all will be well. She said she loved him, she is fine, it has to be, and this is Hawke. He then looks down to his son whom has drifted to sleep. He stands there a moment cradling his son then gently lays him in the little bed in the room. He then goes to Hawke kneeling on the side of the bed taking her hand in his he bows his head and begins a line of prayers to any god he can remember, every spirit he has ever heard of. “Please, don’t take her from me now. Take me if you must take someone. She is all I have, my only reason for life. I owe her everything. So if a sacrifice must be made, take me. She doesn’t deserve to die. Please I’m begging you... dont take her from me she is all i have ever loved."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to stop the story there. I have barely any free time and this story is in dire need of editing so i am doing it s i go. Enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

His eyes are hot and he dosent even realize that tears are streaming down his face. He dosent hear the door open or the soft tap of booted heals hit the floor. " Please! Please dont take her. I love her, and i can not let her go, not now. Not when i havnt told her how much i love her. She is everthing to me, and i havent even told her how much she means to me. Please please im begging you dont take her from me now! Ill never beg for another thing as long as i live." He sobs into his hands her fingers pressed to his lips as tears track down his cheeks onto the bed. His voice a whisper. He feels a warm hand on his shoulder he dosent even jump or jerk away from it. If someone comes to take him now he will welcome it. Its no more then he deserves if she should perish.  
" Fenris, she will be fine. Mothers ,after giveing birth, sometimes it takes them a little while to recover. Sometimes the strain of it is so much that the body shuts down to heal itself. She will be fine Fenris, trust me i know. I promise you, she will be fine. Let her rest." Tenderness and concern have never been emotions on Isabellas voice but he hears it now. " We all love her too. Come, let her rest, we will bring your son down to meet his sisters." Her voice picks up tryint to lighten his mood.  
" Thank you Isabella." He begins his head still bowed." Is she ..... upset with me?" He picks his head up and sees her suprised look. Wondering why as she brings her hands to his cheeks and wipes his tears from it. He hadent even realized he was crying.  
" At first she was mostly hurt Fenris, surely you understand why. But of all the emotions she felt upset was not one of them, rage and anger never crossed her mind, Honestly threw it all the one that kept comming back was worry. She was terrified you was taken. We had been planning to come look for you but her pregnancy would not allow it. She had a hard time in the beginning. but she made it threw, just like everything else. Now COME! we have babies to adore. your babies, and they need there Papa now." She stands and reaches her hand to him and he takes it standing up then pulls her in to give her a tight hug. "Easy there big guy, she will be fine, promise. Then maybe she will tell me what color your smalls reeealy are." she smirks at him . Thats Isabella for ya. Always on the dirty stuff but always trying to keep the mood light and happy. If not a little naughty.  
" Bella, if i knew it would make her wake i'd gladly SHOW them to you." With that she goes over to the craddle and gently lifts the baby.  
" Soo does that mean when she wakes you will tell me?" She bats her eyelashes at him sweetly." Wait you said SHOW mmmm will you still be in them?" She closes her eyes and mockingly tries to eminate a low growl of approval " Yes... Hawke Do wake up i have a sight to see my Bonny las."   
They make there way downstairs Fenris shakeing his head chuckleing.  
" Welp Rivani Yoooou Owe me 2 soverns."   
" Fine, fine. But im telling ya the boy was supposed to come first, that is what Anders said 3 days ago So i took his word for it." She thrusts a small bag of coin at him" its mostly silvers but its all there. It all spends. NOW where is my sweet girls," She looks over to Merril and Oriana whom are holding the babies." There they are, look at them soooo adorable. They look just like you Broody. Pointy ears and all. its odd thou, the boy dont look like them at all."   
" What do you mean?" Varric questions going to Fenris who is now holding the boy, he gently pulls the blanket back and looks at the babe." Hmm that is strange. wonder why that is?"  
" It happens Master Varric, sometimes when there is more then one baby they can b identical but sometiems they look totaly diffrent from each other. Since She is a human and he is an elf it raises the chances even greater." The awnser came from Oriana whom was cooing to the litle one. A small smile on her lips.   
Anders arives a moment later with a stachel full of things for them. " Here is some things that Hawke will need and the ones with the thick white stuff in them if for the babies, you mix it half and half with ver warm water. body temprature when you give it to them or it will upset there stomachs."  
" I know how to do it Ser Anders, I have cared for babies before, its what i did in Mist.... er That other ladys care. I took care of the young ones and helped in the kitchens. I can do this. " she nods to the mage and looking over the contents. She hands the baby to Isabella holding up vial after vial" This is a tea to help her heal, this is for her to make blood and this is to help make milk for the babies, Oh and this one is to help her womb am i wrong?" she looks questioningly to the Mage.  
" Uh.. no, your exactly right acually, how did you know? You said you took care of the babies. Did you help with the mothers too?"   
She sighs and nods but a sad look overcomes her " Yes but many of them didnt live long after. the Mistress didnt allow them much food so some didnt have the strength to heal afterwards even with the herbs and healing. But she seen it as haveing a new one to take its place and finally getting to teach a slave its propper place by bringing it up right to begin with. She was a cruel and mean woman." she looks threw the bag once more to make sure that she had everything then finds a vial of deep purple fluid holdin it up she looks to him with a raised eyebrow. " Why would she need this? this is not for...oh wait i see. Come I must talk to you a moment." she takes him by the elbow and leads him to the kitchen Fenris raises an eyebrow looking around the room everyone as confused as he is, he hands the baby to Varric and heads to the door to listen.

Meanwhile in the kitchen.

" Ok i know this is for elves, why give this to her? " She looks to him questioningly.  
" Well i wasent sure if her milk would be adequite for the babies, i know that elves needs diffrent things and she had asked me to make this a while back so the babies would be healthy. Why? What do you know Orianna?"   
" I Know she has no need for this!" She holds the vial up glareing at it, Anders is stunned never had he seen the elfen woman angry.. oreven upset for that matter." it will make her terribly ill. No i know what must be done but ill need some things i hope you have." She rattles off a few herbs and items and he nods " No, I will make this for her , and it will be the same as this but not make her ill, i have taken care of human woman before and a few had birthed half elven children. Her body will make what they need she wont require anything else, THAT potion is .... its... makers breath why didnt she ask me about this... Please get rid of it, i do not want to think of it again." She hands him the vial and shivers visably   
" Why, what is so terrible about this? I though it was just a tonic to help her nurish the babies. that is how it read anyhow."   
" Let me guess, you got this book from minrathos? you got it from a book merchant in the alenage whom got it for you from a " Healer" from minrathos?" Her voice dripped with disgust.  
" Yes something like that." He says eyes darting from her to the vial in his hands. Looking at it like a viper about to bite him.  
" Did they tell you that this could kill a human?" She says dryly rolling her eyes at the ignorance of people.  
" WHAT NO!.. If i knew that i would have never made it. What in the fade is it?" He exclaims. Never would he give Hawke something to harm her. Never. Now he felt foolish he didnt look further into it. Hawke had always been smart and took her reserch serious.  
" Its something the magisters give elvish women after they have given birth it heals them twice as fast helps them make milk for the purpose of pumping out and being used by other babies, Yes it is a good think up to that point. After the woman is given the 5th dose she begins to bleed again and can be bred again, but that is not all. It makes them hot with a fever, there skin sensative to touch, its almost like a spell of lust and it dosent go away untill they have been breed again. In humans however, it burns them so hotly that it kills them, Elves are hotter natured then humans you see. we can take the fevers better, humans do not make it to the 5th dose." She has busied herself as she spoke warming water to make the babies milk.   
" Sweet Andraste, i almost killed her.... maker... that is ... why would.... Im glad you are here, No there was nothing more then it was a tonic to help mothers make milk , that was all, She baught it and brung it to me, wanting to make sure she would be able to care for the half elven babies as best she could. She was so scared she would do something wrong." He shakes his head " Thank you Oriana. Im glad you knew. Ill go get what you need ill be a moment." She nods to him as he assends the steps to he hidden intrane to his clinic.   
" Why would Hawke think she would be inadequite to care for the children?" Fenris asks as he steps threw the door haveing been listening the whole time.  
She jumps with a small squeek clutching her hand to her chest " Master Fenris, you startled me"  
" Please do not call me that, its Fenris, just plain Fenris. Now awnser my question. Why would Hawke feel she was inadequite?" He looks at her intently  
" She wasent sure about the elvish half of the babies heratage, she wanted them to have every opritunity she could give them firstly being able to nurture them properly. she wasent sure if her own nurishment would be enough so she searched tomes i wasent aware of it at first, had i known that was what she asaught i could have assured her , i had been makeing her teas that i knew could and still will help her more then any tonic but she wanted to make total sure. I think she read every book in Thades on elves and halflings. She was most intent on them being braught up correctly, "   
" I see, you have my thanks in makeing Anders understand what this is, i am aware of what it is as well. And i am with you, i do not understand why she would think she would not be able to care for them properly."  
" Me eather, Someone had to have told her something to put the idea, Hawke has never been one to think she lacks in any measure but you also know she takes critisizim to heart .. deeply. Im sure she will be able to awnser the questions when she wakes, but for now," She hands him three glass bottles " Its feeding time.  
He nods to her and makes his way back to the room. He hands one to Bella who imediatly starts makieng cooing sounds as the baby starts gulping down the fluid, Then to Merril handing her one looking at the baby a moment as Meril starts to feed her. He goes to Varris who smiles up at him and holds the baby out for Fenris. He gently cardles the infant in his arms siting down on a chair and begins to feed the baby. All is quiet save the sounds of the infants suckleing sounds. He takes in a ragged breath. So much happened today his mind dosent even know how to process it. He watches Bella a moment, she is rather skilled with young ones he muses. She now have the baby laying across her shoulder gently patting its back. Merril follows in suite after a few more moments. If someone would have told him he would be feeding his own child this morning he would have laughed in there faces. The baby stops suckleing a moment but when he tries to take the bottle from his mouth he begins suckling again. He chuckles to himself. After a few moments the baby stops again and allows the bottle to be removed. He places him over his shoulder gently patting his back. He feels akward right now. This is usually the womans duty.... right? After a few pats the baby burps and settles against his shoulder. He carefully brings him down back into his arms and the baby is fast asleep. Oriana comes collecting the bottles to put them away for later. She has a small tray when she returns and becons Merril, who hands her sleeping baby to Varric then goes to follow her up to Hawkes room. When merril approaches she hands her the tray and goes to retrieve clean bedding and a dressing gown for Hawke. He wants to offer his help but thinks better of it. The women assend the stairs and dissipear into the room.   
He leans back setteling himself in the chair. Looking over to Isabella then to Varric. Both rocking a baby gently. He realizes he will not be alone in this while Hawke recovers.   
" We should probibly lay them in there beds, its not good to hold them all the time, it will spoil them." Isabella states riseing.   
" We may want to wait till Merril and Oriana finish up there," varric offers   
" Oh yea, right, silly of me. Soo, Broody. Your a Daaddy now huh, hows it feel?"   
He sits there a moment reguarding the Pirate, " Strange, scared. I do not know. I guess im happy, but that can change when she wakes. She may wish me to leave. She may not, i will not force myself on her. It is her decision."   
" Oh i see, well i hope your prepaird to stay cause im pretty sure that is what she wishes. Besides, look at these little darlings. Who could stay away from them?" she says looking down at her bundle. About that time Marril emerges and goes to stand in front of him. " Oriana wishes for you to come help her. Hawke.. is a little heavy for us to lift im afraid." He nods as she reaches down to take the baby and he goes to help Oriana.  
" Do you think you can lift her so i can remove this bedding? " she asks when he arives with a nod he goes to Hawke and very gently slides one arm under her knees and one under her shoulders and rolls her to his chest riseing to stand. Oriana just blinks up at how effortlessly he did that. She moves swiftly as to not burden him with her weight to long. But he dosent mind, Hawke is not very heavy. her head rolls to his shoulder and he looks down at her. her face is calm almost angelic. He presses his lips to her forehead lightly. His eyes heating up again , he blinks rapidly to stop himself from tearing up again. A soft sigh escapes her lips and he watches her face intently, hopeing she wakes but she dosent. Its almost like she can sence his presence and what ever dream she is haveing in the fade she feels him with her. He looks and Oriana has finished with the bed. He gently lays her back down , not really wanting to.   
" I need to ...clean her up, do you think you can help me with that." She asks him going to retrieve a basin of water and a few wash cloths and towels. He nods and she asks him to pull her nightgown off. He does so as gently as he could. not wanting to disturb her. When she lays there naked before him he dosent have the slightest impure though. Oraina lays the basin on the stand next to her and she begins to tend her mistresses hands and arms. He just sits there quietly while the maid works. She is all buisness as she wipe her down. Her hands arms and shoulders. then her chest neck and face. Fenris had lifted the covers to her waist and she goes to wash her feet and legs. She then asks him to lift her agaisnt him so she might wash her back and he does so wraping her arms around his neck pulling her forward. Oriana works swiftly then towels her dry before he set her down. Then she carefully washes between her legs not a single time do her cheeks pinken durring this process. Once she is satisfied she asks him to lift her once more to slip her gown over her head. Once she is settled Fenris brings the covers back up to her chin tucking her in. He leans over and kisses her forehead again and he hears her sigh again. He wonders why she does that.   
" If you can i think later we should wash her hair, if you think you can manage to hold her for that long. " She asks him  
" I can, i am stronger then i look Oriana."   
" That is not what i mean. I know of your physical strength, but what of your heart, i can see you are suffering. I seen how much it is hurting you to see her like this. She will be fine, I have seen this before after the birthing of twins. She may sleep for a day perhaps a bit more. She will be sore and uncomfortable for a while. But she will recover." He nods at her looking back down at Hawke, he wants to lay next to her and hold her to him so badly, it was bordering physical pain.  
" Varric, Isabella and Merril should bring the babies up to lay them in there beds. Perhaps i will stay in here with her tonight, incase she wakes."  
" I think that is a wonderful idea. I shall go tell them to bring the babies up. " shortly after the friends arive placeing babies in soft bed's each one yawning in turn.  
" Me and Bella are going to go back to the hanged man for the night to get some sleep, unless you would rather us stay, Hawke has a few spair rooms that we have stayed in before. Merril wishes to stay thou, if that is acceptable."   
" That is fine, and as to the other, that i leave to you, your help would be most welcome, but i know the desire to sleep in familiar beds. So that is to you and her."   
" Ill stay downstairs, i think she has a bottle of Antivan down there ill pour me a nightcap. Hollar if you should need me." And Bella saunters off.  
" eh me and Bianca will go check on things at the hanged man, ill return first thing IF Oriana promise to make her big breakfast?."   
" I shall." She says wiht a smile.Then leaves then alone.   
" Ok My friend, ill see you in the morn. Rest. You will need it." Then he leaves.   
" I will be in the next room, she let me stay there the past few nights should her labor occur. If you need anything Fenris, just come get me." He nods to her and she leaves him alone in the room with Hawke and the three babies. He goes to each one to check on them, watching a moment at each crib takeing there sight in. Sighing to himself, not in the least sleepy he goes to her bookshelf and selects a book. Hawke had taught him how to read, and he mastered it swiftly at her encouragment. He finds one that seams interesting concidering the chair by the fire he looks back to the bed at her restful form. He removed the rest of his armor and his armored shirt, leaveing only his leggings and he goes and sits next to her on the bed Setteling as close as he dared to her. His hand absently weaves threw her hair as he begins to read.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story i had written 3 years ago and am just now brave enough to post it. I have others i will be posting as well. Comments and critics welcome. I have this story almost completed already and will be posting a chapter weekly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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